You know I'm wondering about that dude named Claus,
He's sneaking around, I think he's got a key to my house.
He's drinking my eggnog and eating my cake,
Even grabbed my wife and gave her a shake.
They tell me the girl was sitting on his lap,
He got fresh, she had to give him a slap.
Santa's messing with me, you know it ain't right,
If he keeps this up, there's going to be a fight.
I hear he's going 'round calling me a ho, ho, ho,
I'm going to kick his butt, he just doesn't know.
Next year you'll be searching for him, looking all around,
But he won't be here, cause I've run him out of town.
Jolly old fat man, what's he trying to do,
He's messing with me, I know that it's true.