LONELINESS

Loneliness haunts my weary mind
It lurks in corners of the room
It hides in the darkness and shadows of the night
I resist
Resting in reverie in the Valley of Dreams and Desire
It scurries cross the floor
In and out the doors, down the hall
It waits by my bed
I do not fear the solitude but this loneliness I dread
I think myself awake and it takes me
It whispers low... beneath a whisper
One I alone can know
I resist
If you are my only Friend I say
Why do you make me sigh
Make me cry before the morning's light
Shall you tell your lies once more
Yes, you frighten me ghost of the night
Creature of the past, born of sorrow and pain
How could you not cause it once again
I will stand in the spring shower
Stand and feel it on my upturned face
Drink it in like a heady concoction of life and beauty
And I will become one with the sun
Until it fills me with its warmth and power
And in that hour I will be whole again

TIME

© Gloria Smith 2010

Time came and went as quickly
As a comet sweeping by in the evening sky
Measured in meteor moments
Flashes of memory, scenes of years
Sounds of tears; flutters of Angels wings
Baby sighs, young men old
And dreams as cold and black as space
And God's eternal grace
My grand old clock slew time
It ticked and chimed
My heart thumped loudly in tune
In time
Life passed by
I waved to it and called to it
But it walked on by
With the merest glance, the slightest wave
It gave as if an afterthought
Time does not go though
It remains and we must leave
While others grieve our passing and yet we live
This energy, this spark of fire, and flame
And soul, and name... our lives exist
And yet expire all in the same moment
We are gone before we arrive and yet alive
Our past to haunt, our future too
And here and now so much to do
And do we know that time best spent
Is sometimes best not spent at all
A nap, a porch, a Catbird's song
A squirrel, a rose, a poem, a son
A meteor in the black velvet of an evening sky
I think I heard an Angel sing
While I lingered half asleep
Clinging to my old lawn chair

Because My Heart Still Lives In Louisiana

I've been to the Big Apple,
and boy that is one hell of a place
no matter I couldn't fit into that space.

Because my heart
still lives in Louisiana
The good Lord knows
Just like that Mississippi River flows

I've lived here in the golden state,
with its movie stars
fast women and fast cars

When I die,
bury me down
in that fertile ground

Talking about up near Shreveport way,
or down in New Orleans,
Baton Rouge would be just fine

Cause then my heart
will still be in Louisiana
and the good Lord knows
how that Mississippi River flows

Grown Child

I awoke from a dream
sweat pouring off me
like steam, it was the
sound I had heard
I thought it might have
been my daughters scream
It is late at night and she
is out in that dark harsh
world, though grown she
is still just a girl.

A thousand crimes
are committed against her
in my nightmares,
I tell her how it scares me
but like youth itself she
does not care. She can
not allow the fears of her
old man to restrain her.
If something happened
to her it would be my
negligence in not making
her see.

Fear not gentle reader
for I love her and know
that she is smart and will
do what is right. I taught
her these things myself,
but knowing that does not
serve to pacify the fears
of a father on a wild hot
summer night.

- by Kelvin Cook

INCOMPRIS REVERIE

© Gloria Smith 2010

I parted with a dream yesterday. I decided to finally tell it good-bye. It broke my heart and yet it was necessary. I dreamt alone really. It suddenly occurred to me that this then was the true heartbreak, and not as I had originally supposed, the fact that I could not have my dream; could not dream it into reality but that I dreamed it alone. Aloneness was the worst part of it all and so I let it go. I cried. Yes, I cried and I died a little inside. I suppose that some part of me will always feel the desire, though I would drive it far from me and never think on it again if I only could. I cannot blind myself; cannot go deaf, and cannot stop feeling with my hands or my heart. That would be death, would it not? So, I died a little yesterday and will die a little each day without my dream, without... Look into my eyes. Do you see the pain that shall never leave them or do I hide it well beneath the glimmers of pretense, the shine of disguise; the light of life that shines though the candle's wick is burning low...

SILENCES OF THE HEART

© Gloria Smith 2010

The best conversations rest not in words

They are born of utter silence

When eloquent emotions scorn mere mortal words

Only the heart makes sense

Only the heart speaks such a language

Only a lover's heart seeks to comprehend it

An unforgettable composition ever written

In weary, longing hearts through time

I wear the words on my finger

Like a diamond ring to say that you are mine

You are the music of my soul

The song I seranade you with

Is the one that makes me whole

It rings out loud and clear

In the hushed silence of lonely nights

Passing years cannot dim its cry

I am lost in the glory of its tenderness

In the bliss of its simplicity

In the night of my remembering

My Heart will sing in tune with yours

Across the shores of time

Our love is written in the sand

Our hearts entwined

I am yours and you are mine

Various Musings... (to be cont.)

© Gloria Smith 2010

Perhaps Sadness will use the shimmering wings of the morning kissed with dew and promise to sail away, and the dark Heart of the Night will rush headlong into the blinding light of the Day, to kiss it full and hard upon the mouth and embrace life's brilliance once more...

I'm as young as a springtime flower blossoming in the heart of my love; as young as a song on my lover's lips, and I thrill to to see the light of tenderness shining in his eyes... Oh... these things never get old, and love -- that is where youth abides. Find love and you'll never be old. Love knows no age and true love never dies...

Love fulfill yourself by filling me. Let me hurry along like a bubbling brook to sing your sweet song in the night. Let my heart take wing in the dawn's hazy light to praise you; to welcome another day of loving...

Run Lucy dear... Outrun the wind and shame the lightning! The beat of your heart is the only sound you hear... let us not blink lest we miss the little girl running free -- as a spirit in the night; as the sigh of a Lover's heart... Be blessed sweet Lucy Lu...

I kiss the morning with a smile upon my lips. The lips where your kiss fell in that moment of eternity that rested in your eyes. What is eternity then? It is now. It rests in the second that just sped away; in this moment of time. Elusive memories of the sweet taste of love; the aroma of passion... the moments swiftly flying away from you as I leave; flying to you until I see you again. Hold me. Give me time to love you. Give me eternity sweet love mine

In my garden many lovely flowers grow. I counted them all. Last fall many leaves fell brittle and dry; too many to count and I did not care to do so... I count my life by all the smiles and not the tears that stream down soft round cheeks one... by one... by one...

I parted with a dream yesterday. I decided to finally tell it good-bye. It broke my heart and yet it was necessary. I dreamt alone really. It suddenly occurred to me that this then was the true heartbreak, and not as I had originally supposed, the fact that I could not have my dream; could not dream it into reality but that I dreamed it alone. Aloneness was the worst part of it all and so I let it go. I cried. Yes, I cried and I died a little inside. I suppose that some part of me will always feel the desire, though I would drive it far from me and never think on it again if I only could. I cannot blind myself; cannot go deaf, and cannot stop feeling with my hands or my heart. That would be death, would it not? So, I died a little yesterday and will die a little each day without my dream, without... Look into my eyes. Do you see the pain that shall never leave them or do I hide it well beneath the glimmers of pretense, the shine of disguise; the light of life that shines though the candle's wick is burning low...

Some of us know of passion more than others; some of us thrive and delight of it like a bee to a blossom sweet; nectar for the soul to eat, and some are content with chore and care, but give me the blue sky with my spirit free, and to love -- only to love thee...

Life is "heavy" is it not? However, we lighten it with our love of it... and I have found that whether returned or no... that love is always worth it. It is the loving that is the gift of life, and whether bittersweet from loss, or returned in another's eyes, we are blessed to have had its presence in our lives...

Aw love... what am I to do with you? What will you do to me by the time you're through? Do your worst for it is true... I'm in love with love and I'm in love with you. Smiles..

Oh Love... go ahead break my heart into a million pieces! Even then I will love you with each piece of my broken Heart a million times over...

Life... sands on a beach that only God can count; a hand full of misery and joy held tightly in my fist; sand running frantically through my fingers...

Good Night my Friends. I wish not to take my leave, but dreams are calling me to their sweet repose, and fatigue claims this frail frame once again... should God give grace I will awake once more, and grant you smiles and sweet hellos and knock upon your Friendly doors..

To miss someone you love is a grand and awesome pain; but to miss someone who loves you not is a pain on a whole other plain; a dagger in the heart; yet torture when apart... oh wicked love...

Evening's here... oh my... the day surely, cannot be at an end
With so much left to do today and no way to fit it in
A strange playful mood descends on me and will not go away
The day kisses me good-bye on my cheek still warm with blushing
Jealous evening rushes in to kiss me once again... Goodbye, Hello
Life is always a game of come and go, here and gone and moving on...